I don’t know how to draw so I’ll have to say this the best way I know how, with words.
Alright then. Did I like it that some crazy fucks came in town and shot people, good people, cartoonists, cops, journalists, courageous people? No. Am I sad for the families and close ones and friends of these people who died, all twelve of them? Of course, and I sympathize with their sorrow. And I’m happy so many anonymous people in the world demonstrated their support, on their own.
But what am I to understand about the whole political shebang? About the crocodile tears of prelates of all kinds? About the voracious appetite of non-stop news? About the indignity of other so-called journalists? You know, all of those people these guys at CHARLIE HEBDO make fun of as well.
For crying out loud, I was just as sad when some other crazy fucks shot down an airplane over Ukraine last year, with I don’t know how many people, more than 100 for sure, on board to paradise. It was the exact same non-stop news shows, where everyone feels like having something to say and is calling for changes, until the next killing, the next atrocity. Boston marathon? The dude in Norway?
Law of big numbers: you will always find someone killing someone somewhere and, if that’s your business model, some newsroom will make a big show of the horror of it all. And now, TV commercials.
I know I’m not inventing anything writing this but, as you may know, they have those computers now that can write out an article faster and better than a human being. It’s good for earthquakes for example, the machine reacting more precisely than would a writer waking up, hungover, the next day. And earthquakes? Now we’re talking tragedy.
But a drawing? A cartoon? Try to have a machine do that
So here I see today every newsroom proudly displaying their rallying cry “I’m Charlie”. No, most of you media people are not, and most of you politicians and columnists showing your face on TV to express your outrage are not either. The journalists and cartoonists who were shot down, THEY WERE (and are and will be) CHARLIE HEBDO. But all of you cowards? Because cowardice and greed go hand in hand with the business of fear, which is today most medias’ business! Not a chance, you’re not anywhere near being a charlie. The closest you ever came to being charlie is being happy that some guys at CHARLIE HEBDO (and other places) are ballsy enough to scream in your name and make you laugh.
Here’s today Figaro headline: La liberté assassinée. No need for translation. Really? These guys are shot down and freedom is murdered? Freedom is that fragile? La démocratie assassinée. Really? We’re not in a democracy anymore in France? The US didn’t survive September 11? Yeah, and what it is they’re doing at the Figaro the rest of the time? White knights of freedom? The owner of this newspaper makes his fortune making and selling war planes! And these guys are charlies today? Fox News is charlie?
Most of the media people who all of a sudden claim so proudly being charlies, they elevate themselves, scot free and with no remorse, to the level of those others guys at CHARLIE HEBDO who were truly courageous. So today, AFTER they were murdered, they’re all happy to be Charlies, as if any of them could ever be a target. No one ever wrote a fatwa against these ‘charlies’, no one is menacing them because their everyday work is crap, senseless, worthless. Fuck, even sports newspaper writers are charlies today, the very ones known to NOT publish infos that they have if it hurts the economy of their paper.
Christ, some of those editors in chief, some of those journalists, I know them personally. Are they charlies? Hell not. I know their hypocrisy and their cowardice and their pettiness. But it makes them feel good to put a quick ‘I am Charlie’ on their paper or site or facebook or whatever and crying with the wolves. It costs nothing and you’re a rebel now! Shameless people I don’t want to be associated with. So I’d rather not be a Charlie with these guys.
Today, the director of a big media French group said during a speech that “without freedom of the press, there’s no liberty”. Oh yeah? Because liberty didn’t precede the press? I guaranty you that there are people, more courageous than this fuck will ever be, crying or drawing or writing for freedom in countries where there’s no freedom of the press. So that goes to show there are morons everywhere! So no, I’m not a Charlie if those little snitches are.
Where was the Figaro and so many others when the reactionaries of all obedience where trying to shut CHARLIE HEBDO down because these guys made us laugh at their expense? I remember how the Catholics wanted to close CHARLIE HEBDO who depicted them just as a bunch of pedophiles. Where were they then all of today’s charlies? And then these so-called charlies go back to the comfort of their home to tell the wife how courageous they have been today.
Today, even Yahoo news is Charlie. No kidding. Right. Are they’re going to give some of today’s advertising revenues to help a magazine that loves nothing so much but to lampoon all religions and sorry politicians and morons of the world? I don’t think so. And now, in sport, a player from Paris St Germain bought a €9 million house in Rome. In other news, Angelina Joly shopping with daughters before meeting with Pope Francis. And now the weather, it’s freezing cold in Chicago.
The show must go on! OK why not. But Charlies?????? BFM TV in France, the voice of the Front National so close they are to the extreme fundamentalist right: and today they’re charlies?
So no, in this case, I’m no Charlie.
In 1981, during the presidential campaign, I pasted on walls of churches and banks CHARLIE HEBDO’s official election posters. The only time in my life I pasted election posters for any one. I don’t have the talent of these guys at CHARLIE HEBDO and I didn’t know any of them personally – they have so many friends today! – but, at least, I tried in my writings to have a bit of their courage. At least I knew like them the debilitating power of religions and ideologies and loved their insolence. But I’m not Charlie, THEY were. And will be.
The sad part of it at the end is only that the good guys were shot by morons. I don’t care how these guys try to justify their killings or how manipulated they were. But once you start shooting indiscriminately at every one, it doesn’t matter why, you’re just crazy. It would have been in the honor of those 12 people at CHARLIE HEBDO that those killers had been the best of the best of the terrorists, you know, something sophisticated. No, just two idiots, former hoodlums and hashish dealers who helped themselves with a cause they understood nothing of. Today, thanks to so many dumb reporters, they got more than 15 mn of fame.
Remember that killer in Norway, on an island? And he killed a whole bunch of good kids. He was no Muslim. He was just another crazy mother. And in Ukraine, they were orthodox the motherfuckers who shot down the plane. So religion has nothing to do with it. What these guys only have in common is to be morons, very dangerous crazy morons, but morons. To call them terrorists is to make too much of them. Almost 100 journalists have been killed in 2014, and a much bigger number of them are being tortured in unhealthy jails. Where are all the occasional charlies?
Now, watch, it’s only a matter of time before the political shenanigans begin because a lot of today’s charlies saying that ‘freedom is being assassinated’ are the very ones who will be clamoring tomorrow for more repression, more liberticidal laws – call it the Patriot act for example – laws that destroy slowly but surely the very freedom they say they want to preserve. Today, Notre Dame’s bells were ringing for the very people who loathed all religions. What a Joke!
We could make a daily calendar with tragedies caused by imbeciles and that includes politicians. Writhing our hands like that all the time, we should feel happy just to be alive. So the nonstop news trying to tell us how important this is is bullshit, it’s nothing but an inundation of self-pity and profitable business.
Yeah, right, humanity just discovers violent death. Who are we kidding? Yes, all those anonymous people demonstrating, believing their way of life is threatened (it is, but not by terrorists) are sincere. But beware of all the charlies you’ve seen on screen for the past two days.
So this is a tragedy yes, but a private one for the families who lost dear ones and I think we’d all be better off without the hoopla. There’s no vaccine against morons, crazy fucks and, worse, moronic crazy fucks. And there’s no vaccine against all of those yakking today they’re charlies now.
Rest assured, on one’s flight to paradise, the worse is always awaiting behind a cloud or around a corner. This is a dangerous planet, always has been, always will be. Which doesn’t mean we’re hopeless against obscurantism. CHARLIE HEBDO was doing it and demonstrated that, without much hoopla but a healthy sense of humor, we can yet be determined to keep laughing at the expense of all the crazy fucks of this planet, believing we can defeat some of them: “Hey, ASSHOLE, YOUR DAUGHTER WILL GO TO SCHOOL, YOU HEAR ME ASSHOLE, and your WIFE TOO and by the time we’re done with you, even your MOTHER will know how to READ and WRITE.”
To finish, just for the anecdote, some of the snitches I was writing about above, they ran out to buy or get the latest issue of CHARLIE HEBDO, in store last Wednesday, because “it is already collector!” So I didn’t buy it this week. Some are already for sale on Internet for over €2.500 Le Figaro tells us. Thanks asshole, that’s a good story!
One last thing. I’m not worried for freedom of speech in France. We have those ferocious cartoonists since the revolution. The emotion is intense in the entire world but keep in mind that CHARLIE HEBDO would be forbidden in most states in the US and in probably 95% of the countries of the planet. But, for 200 years, the spirit has remained in France and in Paris. And so will CHARLIE HEBDO, even if written in tears. And some people will seethe again, starting next Wednesday, the other will laugh, still.