In the more than two years, almost three now, that old Mr. Me had been living like a hermit with May Linh and Lily according to the contract we had all agreed on, our small and recluse universe, composed solely of a remote house by the beach in this warm southeastern Asian country, had settled in a nice and sweet balance. But since Maggie’s strange apparition, this equilibrium was running askew. And, in the universe, every little change of balance can have dreadful consequences.
May Linh and Lily being gone for a week, I had been alone with Maggie for few days now and it was nice but I had spent last night at the Lemon Tree with Carter and had come back home in the wee hours of the morning, quite drunk.
“Where were you all night?” Maggie asked me.
I was kind of in a bad moon. I had gotten up very late and I needed to throw up. Then I took a terrible beer shit and was about to trip to the shower when I remembered the animals. I was pretty sure Maggie didn’t feed them. I asked her when I saw her in the office, reading Chinese news on the computer, and I was right and I had first to go feed the animals.
Once that was done, I pondered whether to go swim or not. I figured I would, so I asked Maggie if she wanted to come but she said no, that it was too late for her today, whatever that meant. So I went to swim alone and just reaching the sandbar was hard because of all the alcohol I had been drinking the night before and not enough sleep but I pushed myself and I finally got into a rhythm. I didn’t swim far, I wasn’t feeling strong and I realized I was hungry. So it was an effort to come back and there was no one waiting for me on the sandbar.
So I finally got home and took a shower and went to the kitchen to eat something and there was absolutely no more food left in there. I could see the accumulation of frozen pizza wrappers and beer cans and vodka bottles and it looked disgusting. There was no more coffee either. So, after drinking a glass of water, I grabbed a beer and went to the front porch to smoke a cigarette. Going through my shotgun house, I saw the office was messy and the big Swedish bathroom littered with towels and stuff everywhere and the bedroom, the bed not made, and I remembered now myself stumbling home this morning, fucked up and making noise and bumping into everything. Now on the porch, all the ashtrays were overflowing with crap.
That’s when Maggie asked me where I was last night.
Christ, I was past the age to be asked this kind of question.
“I told you I was with Carter watching a game,” I said.
“A game that lasts until 7 or 8 am?” she said.
What the fuck! What was this? She couldn’t be jealous, no way, so what was her problem? A fucking whim! What the fuck was this line of questioning?
“Well,” I sniggered, “had you come with me yesterday, you would know today where I was.” I could feel anger rising in me.
“So,” I said with mean irony, “why don’t YOU TELL ME, once and for all, why you’re here and why you’re hiding with us. In fact, I have enough of this shit and you will tell me, NOW, who the fuck you are. This is not Santa’s house, why the fuck did you show up here to ask me where the fuck I was last night? Now YOU tell ME.”
Now I was pissed and she could see it. She had turned all red and I could see now she hadn’t anticipated such a reaction from my part and I realized I had maybe misinterpreted her questions and her tone. Maybe she was simply innocuous. Anyway it was too late, she was pissed too.
She got up in front of me, all red. Beside my wrath, I still took the time to look at her nude body. Christ! She saw me ogling her and that infuriated her even more.
“I thought the contract said no question asked, didn’t it?” she spat. “But ok, you want to know why I’m here? Ok, I will tell you since you want to know so much.”
And I realized just then that she already had been drinking a lot of vodka. And I was not in a good shape myself either.
“You have no fucking idea who I was with,” she screamed, “and it certainly wasn’t an old French perverse fuck like you, who can’t even get his dick hard alone and who’s happy fondling poor girls he has to pay for showing their ass and you can’t even fuck them right and you’re just a fucking loser doing nothing, just the waste of a man, you’re just fucking trash.”
She was eructing, waving her finger up to my face.
I didn’t see it coming but I slapped her, hard, and she went flying among the chairs and rage totally overtook me then and I went after her and I was beating and kicking her and she was still screaming “you can beat me asshole, you don’t hurt me you fucking dickless asshole. Fuck you, fuck you…”
“Shut up bitch, will you shut up you fucking bitch.” I was screaming too and shaking her and beating her and only the ocean and the big sky were our witnesses.
I had never ever in my whole life resorted to such violence. I never beat my exes, although they spent their time asking more and more and giving less and less, I never beat my kids, never even ever beat my dogs. But I was suddenly feeling the power of outrage and brutality and my ire was also strengthen by all those years of weakness and cowardice and Maggie was all of a sudden paying for all those women who had demeaned me and I was beating Maggie harder for it.
But, seeing her nude bouncing every which way, I got excited and I too was now eructing, spluttering, “bitch, bitch, bitch, I’ll show if I’m loser, fucking bitch, I’ll show you respect, I own this fucking place for Christ’s sake, who the fuck do you think you are?” and I pushed her over an armchair and her butt was all there and I had never felt so strong, even my cock was throbbing with rage and wrath so I spread her cheeks and took her booty hole in one violent push, dry cleaning I guess.
She screamed and it hurt me too for a second but, once I was in there, dominant like never before, I thrust and shoved and plunged with animal fury. “Bitch, bitch, bitch, fuck you bitch, meet Tarzan you bitch,” I was saying and insulting her was adding strength to my cock.
She wasn’t saying anything anymore but panting and going ‘ouch, ouch’. Well I was so excited I quickly cum, too quickly I guess because it just fueled my ferocity. I pulled out, grabbed Maggie by the hair, turned her head. “Suck me bitch,” I said. And, to my surprise, she did. If she had refused I don’t know what I would have done but, the moment she took my cock in her mouth, right out of her ass, it excited me again to new highs. So I pushed her around and went back to her bumhole, all wet now, and went in nice and easy and I now noticed that she wasn’t fighting it anymore but abandoning herself to the fate of that day, I guess. This time I could fuck her long and deep and I wasn’t insulting her anymore and she wasn’t screaming anymore and we reached a climax together and I felt her contractions and I cum, again. I didn’t even know I still could, twice in a row like that.
Then I was spent, all my anger gone all of a sudden and I was laying over Maggie, still bent over the armchair and I was trying to catch my breath. Feeling her body under mine, it occurred to me that she was more than thirty years younger than me and, yes, I realized, she’s much stronger than me and if she had not tolerated it, this would have never happened because instead of me beating her, she would have been the one beating the shit out of me. And me, only a few minutes ago, thinking I was King Kong again! What a fool!
Just then, Maggie started to cry, saying “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” over and over again and she was sobbing and couldn’t stop saying “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” and she seemed genuinely despondent.
I had pulled out and, although I was using the occasion to look at the aftermath of her butt, I was surprised by her tears and feeling guilty now.
“I’m sorry too,” I said. And I meant it.
Now than the rage was gone, I felt like an idiot and an asshole. We both got up. I straighten the chairs but she stood by the railing, looking out at sea, far. I went in the kitchen, wiped my face because I had been sweating all the booze I had been drinking the night before, grabbed a cold beer and fixed a bloody Mary and went back to the porch. I gave Maggie her drink. She hadn’t moved and was still wet from our fight.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“You don’t understand,” she said. She had stopped crying. “I’m not sorry for what happened just now, I deserved it I guess, which is why I let you get mad at me like this. No, I’m sorry for you and May Linh and Lily, and sorry for me too, for all the wrong I did to you all.”
Christ, what was this now? She hadn’t done us any wrong.
“You haven’t done us any wrong,” I said.
There we sat now, facing the ocean and night was falling down, fast, and bugs in the jungle were getting excited.
“Ok,” she said, “I will tell you why I ended up here with you guys and you’ll tell me after about right and wrong.”
She was very serious and looked utterly sad and I sensed it had nothing to do with me.
So I shut up and waited.
Iconography: Abstract by Ellar Wise from NASA images